Muggleborn and Muggle-Ignorant
by Lady of the Rings
Summary: A series of one shots in which Lily references the Muggle world, confusing James and some of the others. I don't own Harry Potter or any of the things referenced.
1. Chapter 1

AN I unfortunately don't own Harry Potter or Disney. I can dream though!

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><p>Lily sat in the common room, reading a book. Yes, a book. They still exist.<p>

She was utterly enraptured by the marvellous text and didn't notice the person walking towards her until he ripped the book out of her hands.

"Hey!"

"Evans! Reading during a spare? I am very disappointed in you."

Lily looked up to see the annoying (albeit slightly attractive) face of James Potter.

"Potter! I was reading that!"

"Look, Evans, I'm here to apologize for that incident by the lake. I really am sorry."

"Thank you, Potter but if you were you would've stopped bullying him."

"Evans! That's like telling Sirius to stop reading teen romance novels."

Lily raised an eyebrow and James rushed to save himself.

"It can totally happen! Eventually. Maybe. Sort of."

Lily rolled her eyes and sighed. "Potter, you just cost me my best friend. Leave me alone."

"I really am sorry about that, Evans, but we wouldn't have this problem if you admitted you loved me."

Lily's jaw dropped open in horror and shock. "Love? You? I despise you with every fibre of my very being. Never even think of such an atrocious idea! No matter what you do or say I am and never will be twitterpated!"

And with that, she snatched her book back and stormed up to her dorm, leaving a sad but slightly confused James behind.

"Well, how'd it go?"

James turned to see Sirius looking at him expectantly. "Er, okay, I think."

"Cool. Now, if you don't mind, I'm in the middle of Eclipse and must get back to it."

As Sirius skipped away, James called out to him.

"Yes, Prongs?"

"What's twitterpated?


	2. Chapter 2

James Potter furrowed his brow in concentration.

"This Muggle entertainment stuff is so confusing. They have books where vampires don't kill people! And their fairy tales are all about princesses!"

Sirius frowned. "That's weird. Why are you even taking Muggle Studies?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Isn't it obvious? For Lily. Also, not all the fairy tales are about princesses. Jack and the Beanstalk was always my favourite."

"Who cares about beanstalks?"

"Ssh, Padfoot. This is what Evans grew up with. I must learn to appreciate it."

Remus sighed. "Redhead at 2 o'clock."

James spun around in time to see the aforementioned redhead walking through the portrait hole. He quickly ran over to her and put his few minutes of studying into action.

"My dear Evans! Would you care to be the Lois Lane to my Superman?"

The purebloods in the room gazed in confusion while the others laughed. Lily, however, simply looked the tousle haired boy over and said;

"I prefer Marvel."


	3. Chapter 3

AN I own positively nothing. I can dream though.

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><p>"Evans."<p>

...

"Evans."

...

"Evans."

"What, Potter?"

James recoiled from the angered redhead. "I just wanted a hug..."

Lily furrowed her eyebrows. "What?"

"A hug. When one's arms encircle another."

She rolled her eyes. "Why?"

"Because I love you."

"Ugh. Why can't you leave me alone?"

"I will stop bugging you for the rest of the day if you give me a hug."

Lily sighed and glanced at her watch. It was one, which meant one hug and she would have an entire afternoon Potter-free.

"Alright. One itty bitty hug and you disappear."

James leaped up and threw his arms around the girls of his dreams, who hesitantly hugged him back. _This is nice, _Lily thought. _This is everything I hoped it would be, _thought James.

Lily quickly pulled away. "Okay. You got your hug. Now leave."

"Leave? Why?"

"Excuse me? That was the deal!"

"No, the deal was I stop bugging you, not that I go away. I am at liberty to spend time with you as long as I don't annoy you. Am I annoying you now?"

Lily opened and closed her mouth, flabbergasted.

"Now, now, Evans. Lets do our homework. Don't distract me because that would be very _annoying._"

Lily crossed her arms. "You really are the Gaston to my Belle."

James grinned broadly. "I'll take that as a good thing!"


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I'm going to write a disclaimer in the summary because I can't think of any new ways to say that I don't own anything.

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><p>"If James comes up to me one more time..."<p>

"Hey! Evans!"

Lily turned around to glare at the poor bloke. "What, Potter?"

"I have the best joke for you! Why was the berry so sad?"

The poor redhead sighed and decided to get it over with. "Why?"

James held back a laugh as he said, "Because it was a blueberry! Get it? Blue-berry?"

Lily looked at him. Then she looked at Alice who was standing next to her looking like she knew something. She then looked back at James and opened her mouth to give some witty response.

Then she processed the joke and burst out laughing.

"Oh my gosh. Why am I laughing? That was horrible!"

James smiled triumphantly. "You see? You're warming up to me!"

"Or your wearing me down until I'm nothing but an empty shell of corny jokes and Quidditch facts."

"Does that mean you'll eventually say yes to a date with me?"

"I'm going to go with no."

"Come on! You know it would be so much fun."

"But then why ruin such a perfect concept? If it turns out to be bad, all my hopes will be crushed."

The sentenced practically dripped with sarcasm, but the ever optimistic James chose to see past that.

"So you admit that going on a date with me would be perfect?"

"James, you are really getting on my nerves..."

"That's not a no! And you called me James. I like when you do that."

Lily glared at the bespectacled boy. "I will HM01 you..."

"Is that a scientific term?"

"Do you even know what scientific means, Potter?"

"Ya! I learned it in Muggle Studies. It means... well I'm not good with foreign languages and this Science seems like a really difficult one."

Lily opened her mouth to say something, but then decided to just walk away.

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><p>AN: For those who don't know Pokemon, HM01 is a Hidden Machine that you can find to teach a pokemon a new fight move. HM01 is cut...<p>

Haha funny joke...get it? No? I'll just play Gameboy now...


End file.
